Week 13 Recap / Round 1 Preview

Week 13 Predictions Recap

Predicted Winner Predicted Loser Actual
BMuz Game of the Week
Bloomfield Cowboys Old Tappan J-E-T-S Old Tappan J-E-T-S
Remaining Games
Lowell Panthers Chappaqua GOATs Lowell Panthers
Mubarakstan UoMs Chelmsford Charawalas Mubarakstan UoMs
Waco White Walkers Boston OakTrees Waco White Walkers
Lexington Mughals Pepperell Patriots Pepperell Patriots
Boston Baingans Dublin #McNuggets Boston Baingans
Chicago 7-6ers Franklin Raekwons Chicago 7-6ers
New England Double Terriers Malden Cavaliers Malden Cavaliers
Week 13 Record 5-3 (0.625)
2017 Record 65-39 (0.625)

Week 13 Recap

BMuz Game of the Week

Old Tappan J-E-T-S (11-2) defeated Bloomfield Cowboys (7-6)

The Old Tappan J-E-T-S clinched the #1 seed with a win over Qasim’s Cowboys. The win all but guaranteed that the J-E-T-S will not win the BMuz championship this season (see chart below). After beginning the season 9-0 and on pace to break the record for points scored in a season, the J-E-T-S finished the season with some uneven performances, going 2-2 down the stretch. This coincided with subpar fantasy (and real life) performances from first half studs, Kareem Hunt and Dak Prescott.

Screen Shot 2017-12-05 at 11.00.24 PM

Despite a week 13 loss, Qasim’s Cowboys made the playoffs after Ebad clinched the #5 seed with a win over the Double Terriers. The Bloomfield Cowboys are stumbling into the playoffs, but they remain a title contender as they’ve shown flashes of dominance (two performances of 140+ points) throughout the season.


Remaining Games

Lowell Panthers (5-8) defeated Chappaqua GOATs (5-8)

Abubakr’s Panthers ended their regular season by going 3-1 in their last four games. In those four games, Bakr’s stud RB, Alvin Kamara averaged 25.6 ppg! Despite starting the season 2-7, Bakr finished strong and has announced that he’s coming for all of us next year!


Meanwhile, the Chappaqua Sheep completed their 2017 collapse by losing their seventh straight game. Once 5-1, Hasan lost his second keeper (OBJ) in Week 5 and failed to score at least 100 points in any game for the remainder of the season. Some teams persevere in the face of injury, others fold. The GOATs scored 36.3 fewer points per game this season after last season’s record-breaking performance. Let’s see which version of the GOATs show up next season.


Mubarakstan UoMs (8-5) defeated Chelmsford Charawalas (4-9)

Aasim clinched his second, consecutive division title with his sixth straight win. After starting the season 2-5, Aasim has shown that solid waiver wire management can turn a team’s season around and make turn them into a title contender. The list of waiver pickups that contributed heavily to the UoM’s success includes:

  • Sterling Shephard (dropped by Usmani on Sept 20th, now the WR1 for the Giants)
  • Josh Gordon (dropped by Shahzad and Qasim in mid-October, now a future HoFer)
  • Marvin Jones Jr. (dropped by the GOATs on Oct 8th, now the 7th ranked WR)
  • Marquise Goodwin (dropped a lot of people, now the WR1 for the Niners)
  • Austin Ekeler (dropped by the Mughals, now the best RB on the Chargers)


Imad and his Charawalas could not grow from their 7-6 season in 2016 and finished their 2017 season with a loss, dropping them to 4-9. In good news, Keenan Allen has scored 26 ppg since Oak, Ace, and Sulreeb were wrong about Allen’s keeper status. Imad, take good care of Keenan Allen and his sunnah beard.


Waco White Walkers (5-8) defeated Boston OakTrees (7-6)

The Sheikhs showed everyone that they won’t be disrespected. With Oak needing to win one divisional game in order to get into the playoffs, the Sheikhs trumped Oak in back-to-back weeks and kept him out of the playoffs. Oak finished with a 1-5 record against his division opponents, a stat that will haunt him in the offseason. One more fun fact, Shahzad correctly predicted the result of Oak’s last, eight games including his three losses to end the season.


For the White Walkers, Mani compiled an impressive roster that should keep him competitive in the consolation bracket. With no obvious keepers, but a team loaded with talent (Engram, Hyde, Funchess, and JuJu), Mani is the favorite to win the Saquon sweepstakes (or Julio sweepstakes?).


Pepperell Patriots (8-5) defeated Lexington Mughals (5-8)

For the first time since 2014, Haroon and his Patriots are back in the BMuz playoffs. All he needed to do was shed his Gronk, which set off a string of trades and pickups that turned his 3-5 team into a division winner. The Pepperell Patriots head into the playoffs having won five straight games and having scored 120+ points three of their past, four games.


For the Mughals, it was too little too late. After starting the season 2-6 and a string of questionable trades (that somehow mostly worked out for them), they couldn’t put together a late-season run and failed to make the playoffs for the fourth consecutive season.


Boston Baingans (7-6) defeated Dublin #McNuggets (6-7)

Omar Usmani’s Baingans had all of BMuz glued to their TVs during the final game of the FF regular season. Needing to outscore Qasim’s Cowboys by 39.3 heading into MNF, Lev Bell and Tyler Kroft could only piece together 29.9 points. A valiant effort, but it meant Omar would be sitting at home for the third, consecutive season. A disappointing result for a team that was once 6-2, but traded away Gronk in what was considered a win-now move that was meant to put the Baingans over the top.


After starting his BMuz career with two, straight division titles, Ayman and his #McNuggets will not be in the playoffs for the first time. After a hot start (3-1), the #McNuggets looked like they would contend again, but Aaron Rodgers’s injury turned Jordy Nelson into a WR6 and the promise of Devante Parker never materialized. The #McNuggets will most definitely be back in the picture next year.


Chicago 7-6ers (11-2) defeated Franklin Raekwons (4-9)

The 7-6ers will be the #2 seed for the second consecutive year after their win and a J-E-T-S win. Todd Gurley continues to be the MVP on the NFL and the 7-6ers squad. With Beast Mode heating up and A.J. Green doing A.J. Green things, the 7-6ers are looking like a dangerous team.


It’s September 2017…Kevin Spacey was still a respectable actor, the price of a Bitcoin was $4,000, and the Franklin Raekwons were 3-0. Oh, how times have changed. The Raekwons would go on to lose 9 of their next 10 games following a series of trades with the Bloomfield Cowboys in October. A couple, win-now trades didn’t pan out and the Raekwons will now have to start from scratch.


Malden Cavaliers (8-5) defeated New England Double Terriers (3-10)

Patience pays off. Six years after joining the league, Ebad is headed to the BMuz playoffs for the first time. One year removed from a 3-10 season, Ebad made several, savvy moves to piece together a playoff team, acquiring Devonta Freeman and Robert Woods via trades and most importantly, picking up Alex Smith and Robbie Anderson off waivers. He’ll have a tough matchup in the first round of the 2017 playoffs, but for now, Ebad can celebrate.


Last, but certainly not least, let’s talk about our dearly departed Double Terriers. Once again, their team did not live up to its lofty expectations. A difficult schedule did not help (2nd toughest in BMuz this year). The Double Terriers routinely played opponents that had their best games of the year against Sultan and Areeb. A truly soul-crushing season. For now, the New England Double Terriers are no more. If they are reading this, I would like to say:

Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you. Until we meet again.


Round 1 Predictions & Preview

Predicted Winner Predicted Loser
#3) Mubarakstan UoMs #6) Bloomfield Cowboys
 Both of these teams played really well in the second half of the season and could easily continue their hot streaks straight to a championship victory. We’ll have a good idea which way things are headed after TNF as Aasim will have Mark Ingram and Michael Thomas looking to stay in the flames. And this one likely won’t be decided until MNF as Qasim has four players in that Pats-Fins matchup. While it’s hard to count out a team with Brady and Brandin Cooks, each player on the UoMs has become a solid contributor on a consistent basis for their respective NFL teams (Ingram, Marvin Jones Jr., Kelce). The UoMs have been and should continue to be the team to beat.
#4) Pepperell Patriots #5) Malden Cavaliers
Ebad’s Cavs face an uphill battle against Haroon’s Patriots this week. He will need his stars, Alex Smith, Devonta Freeman, and Robbie Anderson to once again outperform their expectations. Haroon has been receiving steady to spectacular performances from his skill players (Coleman, Latavius, Dion, and Jarvis), and if they can continue their recent success, he’ll be tough to beat. A key component of the matchup to look out for will be each team’s LA Rams wide receiver. If Ebad’s Robert Woods can somehow come back and resume his hot streak, he will also potentially take points away from Haroon’s Cooper Kupp.

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