Wildcard Weekend 2016

Week 13 Recaps

BMuz Game of the Week

Chelmsford Charawalas (8-5) defeated New England Double Terriers (6-7)

The Charawalas did everything that was asked of them this week, yet still missed out on the playoffs. Good grief. The Sheikhs lit up Sulreeb, 145.5 to 100.9, sending the Double Terriers below .500 to close out the season. Every position player scored a TD for the Charawalas and their defense did as well, something you don’t see very often. It wasn’t enough as the GOATs, OakTrees, and Mubaraks won their games and playoff berths.

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Both teams will have many questions to answer going into next season. Do the Charawalas have anyone truly worth keeping? Who will the Double Terriers keep beyond Julio Jones? Does Derrick Henry’s potential as an RB1 make him a keeper? What’s certain is that these two play in arguably the deepest division in BMuz.

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Games to Watch

Old Tappan J-E-T-S (10-3) defeated Bloomfield Cowboys (6-7)

The J-E-T-S locked up the #1 seed and virtually guaranteed themselves a loss in the playoffs with a win over Q’s struggling Cowboys. This is how #1 seeds have fared throughout this league’s history:

  • 2015: Old Tappan J-E-T-S finished 4th
  • 2014: New England Double Terriers finished 2nd
  • 2013: Bloomfield Cowboys finished 3rd
  • 2012: Rockland Chapli Kababs finished 4th
  • 2011: Needham ‘Nstigators finished 2nd
  • 2010: Old Tappan J-E-T-S finished 3rd
  • 2009: Shoreline (CT) Areeb finished 4th

Add in the fact that I am married and my odds approach 0.0%. In the year of the Cubs, perhaps I too can break a curse.

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Meanwhile, Q’s Cowboys finished off the season in disappointing fashion. At 6-4, the Cowboys were in the Wild Card hunt but were swept by their division mates. Q will now be tasked with building around Zeke Elliot. He should be back in the playoff chase next year and perhaps he’ll also be back in the BMuz WhatsApp thread.

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Chappaqua GOATs (9-4) defeated Lowell Panthers (4-9)

Man, that was close. The GOATs were on the door step of elimination resulting in Hasan throwing haymakers at Sulreeb for not starting a kicker. Thankfully that controversy did not materialize as Rawls Royce got rollin and put Hasan ahead for good. He’s back in the #5 seed and the league is experiencing deja vu as his team is smoking the competition late in the season. May Allah have mercy on us all.

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Plagued by injuries (Dez, Jordan Reed), suspensions (TB12), and disappointing players (Langford, Maclin, Arian Foster), the Panthers did not put up a strong season. However, they’ve shown that they can put up points due to a strong core of Jay Ajayi, Dez, Tom Brady, and Theo Riddick. With his inaugural season behind him, Bakr will look to do some damage next year.

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Mubarakstan University of Mubaraks (9-4) defeated Worcester Nation of Muazination (4-9)

Aasim won the Steph division in a stunning manner, by going 6-0 against his division rivals, including 2-0 over his former roommate, Oak. With that said, he’ll go into the playoffs as one of the worst teams to ever compete in the playoffs (alongside ’15 Dublin #McNuggets). He put up scores of 100+ on only 5 occasions (all wins over his division) and is the only playoff team that averaged less than 100 ppg. Nonetheless, he’ll look to continue his dominance over Oak and his behemoth of a team this weekend.

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Muaz’s Nation of Muazination seems to live and die by Cam Newton and this season they died a horrible death. To be fair, this team had some demoralizing injuries early on to Keenan Allen and Charles Sims that seems to take the air out of Muaz’s team. An early 2-1 record quickly became a 3-8 record and his season was over.

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Boston OakTrees (9-4) defeated Malden Cavaliers (3-10)

Oak’s forthcoming freak out was delayed for at least another week as he blew out Ebad’s Cavaliers as was predicted in last week’s preview column. The OakTrees are back in the playoffs for the 2nd year in a row following consecutive 5-8 seasons in 2013 and 2014. They’ll play the “inferior” Mubaraks in round 1 of the playoffs this weekend.

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Ebad’s playoff drought continues. I was very wrong in my preseason prediction where I had the Cavaliers going 8-5, winning the division, and making their first playoff appearance ever. One way to ensure that doesn’t happen is to start the season 0-7. This is a team that started the season with Devonta Freeman, Jay Ajayi, Frank Gore, Devontae Booker, Golden Tate, Donte Moncrief, and Russell Wilson. Mind blowing I know.

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Chicago 7-6ers (10-3) defeated Franklin Raekwons (2-11)

Ace secured his first bye week ever with a win over his former co-owner. He’ll sit at home this weekend praying for Oak’s demise or better yet the demise of all five playoff teams. Aasim would be the ideal opponent for Ace as they both have hovered around 100 points on a weekly basis for the past 5 or so weeks. Oak would likely crush Ace.

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HSid gets to look forward to making over his fantasy football team after Sakib went ahead and ruined it before his departure. With the potential #1 pick, all eyes will be on HSid this offseason and he could be the winner of the Leonard Fournette sweepstakes.

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Other Games

Dublin #McNuggets (8-5) defeated Pepperell Patriots (5-8)

The #McNuggets clinched their second consecutive division title and #4 seed and will look ahead to getting pummeled by the beast of BMuz that is known as Hasan Ali’s GOATs. It could be worse (see Mughals).

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Haroon and the Patriots lost this week and couldn’t avoid their second straight 5-8 season. This year saw the Patriots be reunited with Drew Brees (FF’s #1 QB). If Eddie Lacy ends up in the right situation and Gronk returns healthy, the Patriots could have a formidable team come next year.

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Lexington Mughals (7-6) defeated Boston Baingans (4-9)

The Mughals and Baingans were quite possibly the most disappointing teams in BMuz this year based on their preseason rosters. The Mughals somehow bungled a roster that included Lamar Miller, Melvin Gordon, Greg Olsen, and Marcus Mariota.

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The Baingans saw three of their four prized acquisitions from the past year falter as Jamaal Charles was hurt again and B Marsh and ARob played below their standards due to garbage play from their QBs. These Baingans are rotten, time for Usmani to grow a new crop.

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Wild Card Preview

#3 Mubarakstan University of Mubaraks (9-4) vs. #6 Boston OakTrees (9-4)

  • ESPN Projection: OakTrees by 19

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Aasim certainly seems to have Oak’s number this year, but can he defy the odds for the third time in one season? He’ll be leaning on his WR corp and may need some breakout performances from the likes of Michael Thomas (with a plus matchup against TB) and Julian Edelman (would Oak dare root against him on Monday?) to have a real chance at taking down the Oak Tree.

#4 Dublin #McNuggets (8-5) vs. #5 Chappaqua GOATs (9-4)

  • ESPN Projection: GOATs by 12

Hasan’s depth will likely be too much to overcome for Ayman’s short-handed squad. Without the likes of Alshon, Gio, and Prosise, Ayman will be relying on waiver pick ups, Mike Gillislee, Michael Floyd, and Desean Jackson. Realistically, DJ should out score all three of those combined and Hasan should cruise into the conference championship

Draft Pick Standings

End of Regular Season Regular Season Points Points Position Regular Season Losses Playoff Wins Total Points Draft Position
Franklin Raekwons 1190.9 8 11 0 11.7 1
Malden Cavaliers 1314.2 4 10 0 10.3 2
Boston Baingans 1146.8 10 9 0 9.9 3
Worcester Nation of Muazination 1183.1 9 9 0 9.8 4
Lowell Panthers 1303.2 5 9 0 9.4 5
Pepperell Patriots 1385.1 2 8 0 8.1 6
Bloomfield Cowboys 1284.9 6 7 0 7.5 7
New England Double Terriers 1480.2 1 7 0 7.0 8
Lexington Mughals 1249.7 7 6 0 6.6 9
Chelmsford Charawalas 1377.3 3 5 0 5.2 10

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