Week 8 Recap: Unfunny Recap

BMuz Game of the Week

Chappaqua GOATs (5-3) defeated New England Double Terriers (4-4)

Sulreeb must have been feeling really good about themselves before Sunday. Demarco Murray (and Derrick Henry) went off on TNF, they were able to swindle Greg Olsen away from Subzair, and the league let a loophole stand that benefited Sulreeb.

It didn’t matter as Hasan slapped around the Double Terriers like the 4-4 team they are. Hasan’s entire roster put up respectable numbers while only three players cracked double digits for Sulreeb. There is a silver lining. You guys are 7-1 against the median! Chin up, guys! Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.


Games to Watch

Old Tappan J-E-T-S (6-2) defeated Chicago 7-6ers (6-2)

Shaz is quite possibly the most fortunate owner in BMuz history. What should have been a close game turned into one of the most lopsided games of the season as Shaz laid the smackdown on Acesid.

Shaz’s fantasy squad went from better than average to juggernaut status thanks to Tevin Coleman, CJ Anderson, and Ty Montgomery being ruled out as the week progressed. Combine that with the fact that the Packers will probably go without a true RB for the next few weeks and let ARod throw 50 times a game, and we may be looking at Shaz being the first three time champion in BMuz history.  As always, Shaz’s team is trending in the right direction as we enter the home stretch of the regular season.

Acesid put up their worst performance of the season with only 3 players cracking double digits.  As such, they fell from first to third place in the standings.

Mubarakstan University of Mubaraks (5-3) defeated Lexington Mughals (5-3)

Subzair almost improved on their improbable winning record despite putting up a laughable 79 points.  The game was still up for grabs going into a thrilling SNF football game.  In the end Dax Prescott secured a W for Muaz despite 7 players scoring less than 10 points for the Mubaraks.

Subzair continue to believe their team is a legit contender, notwithstanding their 1-7 record against the median.  Who knows, maybe Jordan Howard and Ty Montgomery will make us all believers.

Fun Fact: I wrote this recap incorrectly multiple times.  First I thought Subzair played Muaz and then rewrote thinking Haris was still in the league. Aasim continues to be the most forgettable owner in the league.

Chelmsford Charawalas (5-3) defeated Lowell Panthers (3-5) 

Both teams put up respectable numbers, but the Sheikhs came out on top despite four quality players ruled out. The Broncos D and Chris Hogan (ugh) made all the difference to get a 17 point victory. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The Sheikhs are THE team to watch and are now only a game back in their division.

The good news for Bakr is that his team seems to be clicking at the right time. The bad news for Bakr is that he is in a very tough division and his most likely route to the playoffs will be through the wild card.

Blowout of the Week

Boston OakTrees (6-2) blew out Dublin #McNuggets (5-3)

When will this madness end? Oak’s handcuffs continue to put up eye-popping numbers as he cruised to another W even with the Greater Usmani putting up a respectable 114 points.

Looks like Quizz and Ware are actually going to miss some time and somehow Oak doesn’t own the cuffs to his cuffs.  The bad news for Oak is he won’t be able to get Quizz’s cuff off waivers cause he is last on the priority list.

Meanwhile Ayman’s patience with his WR keepers was the right move as Jorday Jordy and Lashon Alshon are trending in the right direction for the final half of the season. The KD division is his to lose.

Upset of the Week

Bloomfield Cowboys (4-4) defeated Needham ‘Nstigators (1-7)

I know many of us are anxiety ridden with election day a week away.  If you need to relax and have a good laugh just go and look at Sakib’s roster.  I’ll wait here….Ok – I genuinely believe that Sakib needs a co-owner or maybe a good ‘script because his wild trading has me worried about his health. I hear there’s a Siddiqi available and just like Sak, he doesn’t mess around with snakes.

As for Q, Zeke is doing Zeke things and probably will for the rest of the season, but trading away Jordan Howard has to hurt right now because Chris Ivory and Chris Thompson are not going to cut it as your RB2.


Other Games

Pepperell Patriots (3-5) defeated Worcester Nation of Muazination (3-5)

Mark Ingram’s case of fumbilitis cost Muaz the game in the closest matchup of the week. Like his brother, Roon made some savvy trades that netted him a W for the week. He will probably have to make a few more trades this week to keep his winning streak alive as he enters his third straight week of bye week hell.

Both teams sit at 3-5, but are within striking distance of their division lead and will look to turn their season around in the next five weeks.

Malden Cavaliers (1-7) defeated Boston Baingans (2-6)

Pop the non-alcoholic champagne cause Ebad got his first W of the season! It wasn’t a very impressive showing by the Cavaliers, but 91 points are more than enough when you’re playing against the Lesser Usmani.

This once formidable owner seems lost in the wilderness. What’s more is that he is in denial and is stubbornly refusing to trade any of his assets. Newsflash: You aren’t going to turn this thing around when Jamaal Charles is spending more time at the doctor’s office than on the field. NOW GIVE ME LEVEON!


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