BMuz Game of the Week
New England Double Terriers (4-3) defeated Old Tappan J-E-T-S (5-2)
Sulreeb’s already formidable team got better because the rest our dumb ass league doesn’t know how to use waivers. Sakib decided to stay put with a player he assumes is French Haitian and Roon decided to use his waiver on a kicker.
Some bad news for Sulreeb, ESPN designated Ty Montgomery as a RB and that means they played an illegal roster this week with 6 RBs. Motion to vacate Sulreeb’s win and place Demaro Murray on waivers. (Sakib seconds, but will hold onto Jalen Richard resulting in Demarco falling to Sulreeb on waivers.) Idiots.
Shaz is going to ride or die with his RBBC team and he will probably ride that straight into the playoffs where anything can happen. #blessed. Also, I don’t know if you heard, but Todd Gurley is on a bye for me this week.
- Shaz will face off against Ace minus his best pre-season keeper. *Suspiciously squints*
- Sulreeb face off against Champ in what should be the game of the week.
Blowout of the Week
Chicago 7-6ers (6-1) defeated Bloomfield Cowboys (3-4)
This game was simply a formality after Jordan Howard’s putrid performance on TNF. Ace’s WR keeper trio continue to prop up poor play by Todd Gurley and Q failed to take advantage of subpar games by Xtine, James White, and a real bitch of a performance by Martellus Bennett.
Outside of Zeke and a few upside WRs (Snead and Landry) this team resembles something Q might pull out of one of his patients.
- Ace has a tough matchup against Shaz and his team comprised of nothing but RBBC players.
- The Bloomfield Polyps are underdogs against the 1-6 ‘Nstigators.
Upset of the Week
Lexington Mughals (5-2) defeated Malden Cavaliers (0-7)
Uzair was able to squeeze out another win despite scoring less than 100 points for the fifth time this season. Uzair is sitting at an improbable 5-2 and will try to ride his luck all the way to the playoffs.
Meanwhile Ebad has scored 100 points or more four times this season, but remains winless. I’m not going to pile-on here. Poor guy.
- Ebad might be able to pick up his first W with Leveon Bell on a bye week for the Lesser Usmani.
- Uzair is projected to score less than 90 points this week, but his opponent is projected to score less. (Calm down Oak)
Games to Watch
Chelmsford Charawalas (4-3) defeated Chappaqua GOATs (4-3)
The Broncos D propelled the Sheikhs to another victory and on to the right side of .500. The Sheikhs keep making the right moves as they were able to dump an injured offensive lineman for a starting RB and the ghost of Allen Robinson for two players that netted nearly 50 pts this week.
Hasan left 28 points on the bench by starting Cameron Meridith over Davante Adams. Let this be a lesson to the league; don’t ever start a Bear over a Packer. It might be time for Hasan to let ODB go in order to sure up his RB situation or his chances of being a back to back BMuz champ could slip away. I’m willing to take a flier on him.
- Hasan will try to take down Sulreeb sans ODB.
- The Sheikhs face off against Bakr’s improving team.
Boston OakTrees (5-2) defeated Pepperell Patriots (2-5)
Oak’s handcuff strategy is paying off so well he should look into getting some chains, paddles, and a Gimp. Jacquizz, Ware, Forte, and Gordon put up nearly 100 combined points. Oak will most likely continue to be a formidable opponent as rumors swirl about Jamaal Charles’ limited role and Doug Martin’s prolonged absence.
Meanwhile Roon fell back down to Earth after his 176 point explosion. The good news for Roon is that Brees and Gronk are finally playing at a consistent level, but a couple more Ls and we may need to brace ourselves for #begcollusion or rosterpoolgate V.2.
- Oak faces off against the paper tiger that is the Greater Usmani.
- Roon is in bye week hell and looks for a miracle against Muaz.
Mubarakstan University of Mubaraks (4-3) defeated Dublin #McNuggets (5-2)
This game came down to a MNF Mexican Standoff between CJ Anderson, the Texans D, and Emmanuel Sanders. Oak narrated the entire standoff even though most of the league was already watching the game and probably had the ESPN Fantasy app running. Good contribution Oak.
In the end the Texans D did Ayman in and Aasim got the W, but honestly, nobody who scores under 90 pts should feel like a winner.
- Aasim faces off against Uzair’s 1-6* squad.
- The McNuggets will try to avoid ending up in Oak’s handcuff dungeon.
Worcester Nation of Muazination (3-4) defeated Boston Baingans (2-5)
In an unexpected twist, looks like the two-time champ’s rebuilding phase is going to last one more season. Three of his most prized players combined for 6.3 points. I repeat, 2 keepers and what seemed like a stellar mid-season trade acquisition combined for 6.3 points! That’s a doughnut from JC, 1.5 points from A-Rob, and a whopping 4.8 points from BMarsh.
Muaz was able to break a three game skid despite Cam and Kelvin sitting out this week on a bye. IMHO, Muaz is a .500 team at best, but the talent on his squad can cause headaches for anybody on a week to week basis.
- Muaz should be able to get to .500 against Roon’s bye week riddled team.
- Usmani matches up against league punching bag Ebad.
Lowell Panthers (3-4) defeated Needham ‘Nstigators (1-6)
Speaking of punching bags…Sakib’s team. That is all.
Bakr was able to pick up a W thanks in part to Jay Ajayi reviving life into his team like an adrenaline shot to the heart. Bakr’s team is getting healthy at the right time. Both Jordan Reed and Theo Riddick are expected to play this week as Bakr looks to start his postseason push early.
- Bakr will look to upset the Sheikhs sans Jay Ajayi.
- Sakib has a decent shot at taking down Q and his polyps.