Week 6 is in the books. I am subbing in for Ace this week on recaps. Haven’t done one of these in over a year so this will probably suck. Which is fine because per last week’s recaps, BMuz doesn’t deserve nice things, right Ace? Anyway we’re at the halfway point of the 2016 BMuz fantasy season. I’ll leave it to Shaz to see if he wants to do some sort of midseason review or whatever. Anyways here are some TL;DR recaps + memes:
BMuz Game of the Week
Chicago 7-6ers (5-1) defeated Lowell Panthers (2-4)
How the hell was this game dubbed as BMuz Game of the Week? Ace was predicted to win by 20+ not by 5 per ESPN projections and nearly doubled Bakr’s score. Smells like another nazr conspir- never mind.
Speaking of Ahsan, is this year that he finally breaks that glass 7-6 ceiling? His team looks scary good (averaging 121+ points per game) and the addtion of co-owner HSid has helped control Ace’s bad habit of being a trade slut which had led to his demise in previous years. With that being said, Ace/HSid have a much more difficult second half schedule coming up and still need 3 more W’s to get that elusive 8th win.
Ace/HSid by 62.9
- Ace is a heavy favorite to get win #6 vs. Qasim who is coming off a gut-wrenching loss to Sultreeb
- Bakr goes to the basement of BMuz to face estranged ex-commish Sak
Games to Watch
Old Tappan J-E-T-S (5-1) defeated Chelmsford Charawalas (3-3)
Another week where Shahzad is truly #blessed. Rodgers and Antonio combined for roughly ~22 points, and Shahzad STILL won. No one else on his team besides Coby Fleener scored in double digits on Sunday (good job Sak) and Shahzad STILL won. All Imad/Mani needed was for their Cardinals QB Carson Palmer to outscore Shahzad’s Cardinal’s D/ST by more than 7 points on Monday night but that didn’t happen and Shahzad STILL won. Yes, I know Uzair/Haroon, I am salty because I wish I was Shaz, I know. Enjoy your fraudulent hot start now Shaz, we’ll see how long this lasts. Of course as long as you continue to take advantage of bottom feeder teams that have bye week issues then who knows, maybe you will continue to win with your convenient schedule.
Shaz by 5.5
- Shahzad finally gets a real challenge vs. the high scoring Double Terrier squad
- Imad/Mani’s entire team is questionable and are big underdogs vs. Hasan Ali’s red hot GOATs
New England Double Terriers (3-3) defeated Bloomfield Cowboys (3-3)
Sultreeb’s team on paper has been one of the highest scoring teams in the league and is the only team in the league that has scored 100+ points each week and is the only undefeated team vs. the median. However despite all that, they were looking at falling to 2-4 going into the Monday night game with a slim 7.8 point lead against Qasim’s John Brown. As lucky as Shahzad has been, Sultreeb’s squad has been just as unlucky losing to inferior teams such as Sakib and Subzair. This time however, it was Qman who got unlucky as John Brown was shut out for most of the game and his string of catches late in garbage time wasn’t enough as Sultreeb held on for the 0.9 point win.
Sultreeb benefitted from picking the right Charger TE to use this week as well as 22 points from their stud WR Julio. Qman got solid outings from Zeke, Jordan Howard, Landry and Tyrod but it was John Brown who couldn’t do enough to get the W.
Sultreeb by 0.9
- Sultreeb goes against Shahzad in next week’s BMuz Game of the Week
- Qasim has a tough matchup against league juggernaut Ahsan/HSid
Chappaqua GOATs (4-2) defeated Needham ‘Nstigators (1-5)
Not much to talk about here. Hasan Ali continues to dominate after a slow start to the season en route his 4th straight win thanks in large part to monster games from David Johnson and OBJ. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Sak after a surprising opening week win over Sultreeb has stunk it up and has lost 5 striaght games on his way down to the basement of BMuz. But hey Sak at least you beat the median this week so you’re 2-4 there.
Hasan A by 39.5
- Hasan is a heavy favorite vs. Imad/Mani’s banged up team
- Sak is rooting for Ebad to win so he can gain top waiver priority after losing to Bakr next week
Boston OakTrees (4-2) defeated Boston Baingans (2-4)
A matchup of the two Omar’s of Boston was projected to be a blowout in favor of the Elder Usmani. This was supposed to be the week where Usmani’s tanking of last season and the earlier part of this season would come to form as he finally had his stud RBs Le’Veon Bell and Jamaal Charles both healthy and playing again. While Usmani has struggled early this season, Oak has enjoyed some early success thanks in large part to the handcuffs of Usmani’s RBs Deangelo Williams and Spencer Ware. While most of Oak’s team (besides Amari Cooper) did not perform up to expectations this week, it was Spencer Ware (23.7 pts) who outplayed Jamaal Charles (11.5 points) and although Oak doesn’t own DWill anymore, he did trade him for Terrelle Pryor who came up big with 22.7 points. Leveon was contained to just 15 points and Usmani’s 4 WRs scored a combined 14.3 points which led to a putrid 62.7 points overall. This marks the 3rd time Usmani has scored below 80 points this season and in addition to losing all 3 of his division games, he is also dead last in scoring in BMuz so far this year. It has been reported that Elder Usmani is so distraught over this terrible start that he has since fleed the country and was last seen in Croatia.
Oak by 42.9
- Oak faces Haroon who threatened (but failed) to beat Oak’s all-time single week scoring record this week
- Elder Usmani (if he comes back out of hiding) looks to rebound vs. a reeling Muazination
Lexington Mughals (4-2) defeated Worcester Nation of Muazination (2-4)
Is Subzair’s squad actually good or lucky? While they are having a much better start to the year than expected, they are still 1-5 vs. the median which seems to suggest their 4-2 start is more due to a favorable schedule rather than a talented squad to be reckoned with. With that being said, they did finally get a big game from their early round draft pick Lamar Miller (31.5 pts) as well as solid outings from Cole Beasley (19.6 pts) and Greg Olsen (11.2 points). Muaz on the other hand, besides his Panther duo of Cam + KBenj and Mohamed Sanu, no one else really showed up.
Subzair by 12.7
- Subzair is actually the underdog vs Ebad’s team (who is winless so far btw, just saying)
- Muazination will face fellow reeling 2-4 team Elder Usmani
Pepperell Patriots (2-4) defeated Mubarakstan University of Mubaraks (3-3)
Wow. Certainly didn’t expect this result. Haroon’s team went off this week out of nowhere after scoring 100+ just one time prior this season (a week 3 W over Elder Usmani). Haroon had 5 players go for over 21+ points including the one and only Gronk who finally showed up. Haroon’s 176.8 point outburst is good for 3rd in single week highest scoring performances in BMuz history behind only Ace (who scored 177 last year) and Oak (188.5 in 2014) who he is playing next week. Additionally, Haroon set a new BMuz record for largest margin of defeat thanks to Aasim’s sad 54.4 point performance which was also the lowest output by a BMuz team so far this season.
Haroon by 122.4 (LOL)
- Haroon will attempt an encore high scoring performance vs. Oak
- Aasim is a heavy underdog vs. Ayman’s #McNuggets
Dublin #McNuggets (5-1) defeated Malden Cavaliers (0-6)
Given these two teams records going into this week, one would think this should’ve been a lopsided matchup. But this one ended up being a nailbiter that wasn’t decided until the very end of the Sunday night Texans-Colts game. Ayman’s team mostly underperformed with the exception of Shady McCoy exploding for 33.4 points as well as solid outings from Gio and Alshon. Ebad meanwhile finally got a big game out of Golden Tate (25.2 points) and benefitted with a big gamble of starting the Cowboys D/ST on the road vs. the Packers and was rewarded with 11 points there. This game came down to Ebad needing his Colts duo of Frank Gore and Vinatieri to get enough points to catch up with Ayman and his Texans D/ST. Unfortunately for Ebad, the Colts were unable to close, and Ayman’s Texans got a couple of sacks late to seal the deal. Ayman’s team is 5-1 and on paper, looks to be one of the best teams in the league so far, although his team hasn’t been scoring as much to back that up. Ayman’s team is 7th in points scored to this point but still looks to be the favorite in winning his division for the second year in a row. Ebad meanwhile has had a very unfortunate and tough season, unable to get a win to this point. I guess nice guys really do finish last?
Ayman by 5.3
- Ayman is heavily favored vs. Aasim’s reeling team
- Ebad looks to get his first W vs. an overrated Subzair squad