Week 6 Preview

For this week’s preview, each team was asked to provide a hot take on its matchup and opponent. Some went the “anti-nazr” route, others decided to talk shit, while a few had little to say. Take a look and good luck to everyone this week (aside for the Sheikhs).

BMuz Game of the Week

Chicago 7-6ers (4-1) vs. Lowell Panthers (2-3)

  • ESPN Projection: 7-6ers by 5

Acesid – “We brought you into this league, and we can take you the f&$k out.”

Bakr – “For me, this week’s matchup is deeper than just a fantasy football game, it’s a battle for the soul of our nation. You can’t ignore the symbolism. The 76ers celebrate the false notion that all Americans received their freedom when the Declaration of Independence was signed, while the Panthers represent the ongoing fight for freedom and equality. Want more proof? It’s 59 degrees outside and we’re in the 10th month of the year. Multiple those together and you have 590. Add that to 76 and you have 666, the number of the beast. Bakr has four letters, just like love. #staywoke”

Games to Watch

Old Tappan J-E-T-S (4-1) vs. Chelmsford Charawalas (3-2) 

  • ESPN Projection: Even

Shahzad – “You’re two of my favorite people in this league. Vastly improved from last year. Couldn’t happen to better people. I look forward to beating your candy asses.”

The Sheikhs – “If Sultan can enjoy an Adele concert, the Charawalas can outsnake the Shaz-Snake. Sheikhs by 30. (Good win Shahzad #nazrprotection).”

Bloomfield Cowboys (3-2) vs. New England Double Terriers (2-3)

  • ESPN Projection: Cowboys by 8

Qasim – “No comment.”

Sulreeb – “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

Chappaqua GOATs (3-2) vs. Needham ‘Nstigators (1-4)

  • ESPN Projection: GOATs by 10

Hasan – “It’s hardly a rivalry. He has never won anything.”

Sakib – “Champ is going to steam roll Sakib like Clinton is going to beat Trump. Game over hathis. No need to even watch this snoozefest blowout.”

Boston OakTrees (3-2) vs. Boston Baingans (2-3)

  • ESPN Projection: Baingans by 20

Oak – “I know I’m an heavy underdog this week but if my 5-8 team can do that to his championship winning team that year [referring to Oak’s 188.5-117.5 beat down of Usmani in 2014] then Anything is Possible.”

Usmani – “Someone’s gonna have to pick up Oak’s handcuff once I’m through baingan him.”

Lexington Mughals (3-2) vs. Worcester Nation of Muazination (2-3)

  • ESPN Projection: Mughals by 2

Subzair – “It’s the Great Ooze vs The Nation.  One muz man tries to defeat all the muz men in the 495 belt with his shear power and excellent waiver scouring skills.”

Muaz/Umer – “They’re gonna get left behind like the Subzi at a wedding. Muaz says he’s gonna lay the thupar down on their mithai ayses. Muaz says, it’s time to weed out the snakes and stomp on their jabroni faces.”

Mubarakstan University of Mubaraks (3-2) vs. Pepperell Patriots (1-4)

  • ESPN Projection: Patriots by 8.5

Aasim – “It’s a big week for me after not being able to capitalize on everyone’s losses last week.”

Haroon – “I hate fantasy football.”

Dublin #McNuggets (4-1) vs. Malden Cavaliers (0-5)

  • ESPN Projection: #McNuggets by 17

Ayman – “Which one’s Ebad again?”

Ebad –  “Look like we’re going at it this weekend Ayman. You may be tempted to sit back and enjoy an easy win against a winless team being carried by its star kicker, but kickers aren’t to be underestimated, and he will carry my team to success. I leave you something only befitting of our football culture, a haiku:

The end is nigh
Ayman Usmani
Winless record is a ploy
Face embarrassment”

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