BMuz Game of the Week
Old Tappan J-E-T-S (125.3) defeated Chappaqua GOATs (108.5)
Eid Mubarak from the J-E-T-S! The GOATs were mercifully qurbani’d this week by Shahzad with a swift stroke. Heavily hyped as the team to beat this year, Hasan was unable to overcome his division rival due to lackluster play from the QB position and underwhelming performances from OBJ and Thomas Rawls. Hasan’s decision to go with Captain Kirk over the likes of Stafford, Winston, and Dalton may end up haunting him. Meanwhile, Shahzad thrusted his way to a win thanks to Antonio Brown, Aaron Rodgers, and TDs from Jeremy Hill and Isaiah Crowell. This win puts the rivalry at 11-2 in Shahzad’s favor, who is also 6-2 all-time in Week 1.
Lowell Panthers (97.3) defeated Bloomfield Cowboys (93.1)
Abubakr introduced himself to the league with a win in the inaugural game for the Lowell Panthers. Though it wasn’t a convincing victory, Abubakr’s team may be scarier than its 97.3 points indicate. Sitting on his bench were Theo Riddick and BMuz favorites, Chris Hogan and Tom Brady. Riddick and Hogan totaled nearly 40 points and will further solidify an already strong starting lineup that was missing any contribution from its star player, Dez Bryant. Meanwhile Q must have been happy with Zeke’s solid start, but must be troubled by his RB2 and QB woes.
Chicago 7-6ers (119.2) defeated Chelmsford Charawalas (99.1)
The Staffordaissance is here. Exit Calvin Johnson and enter a new world where the possibilities are endless. Stafford targeted a whopping eight receivers, unheard of in the Megatron days. Ahsan patiently waited to draft a late round QB and now this strategy is looking genius. With Stafford’s strong numbers and plenty of depth at the skills position, Ace will be able to make up for some potentially lackluster performances from Todd Gurley in the weeks to come (fire Jeff Fisher). Meanwhile the Charawalas saw six of their ten players score under 10 points. That’s just not going to get it done in this league.
Needham ‘Nstigators (130.7) defeated New England Double Terriers (119.1)
Sak proved all the haters wrong (except the Matt Jones haters) and put up the 2nd highest score of the week in his win against Sulreeb’s heavily hyped Double Terriers. All the mA’s and iA’s couldn’t keep Sulreeb from getting rocked by a chief rival. Meanwhile Sakib rode Luck to victory, whose 38.1 points were the most by any player this week. A small piece of consolation for the Double Terriers is that they put up the most points by a losing team this week and the fifth highest overall. They’re still a team to beat.
Mubarakstan University of Mubaraks (118.1) defeated Malden Cavaliers (107.1)
For one week, Aasim gets to laugh at the league. Carlos Hyde was legit in Week 1, totaling two TDs and just over 20 points. This was the difference in his matchup with Ebad, who saw Devonta Freeman not only underperform but also lose touches to Tevin Coleman. Likely not what Ebad envisioned when he made Devonta his only keeper selection.
Boston OakTrees (165.3) defeated Worcester Nation of Muazination (97.9)
As much as I want to hate on Oak for benching Melvin Gordon to prove a point or for banking on a pair of handcuffs this season or not being able to stomach any insults towards the Patriots, I can’t. Against all odds, Oak shut us up. His 165.3 point performance was unexpected and worthy of the league’s respect. In my season preview I had him at 7-6, but noted that he can’t be counted out due to his love for this fantasy game. He made all the right moves. He drafted Derek Carr ahead of other QBs. He masterfully injected Eli Rogers into his starting lineup. He fixed a problem with his D with the help of Uzair and Subhan. He was ready for Week 1, but we were not ready for him.
Dublin #McNuggets (102.6) defeated Boston Baingans (91.2)
Wake me up in Week 4 when Usmani is fielding a real team. Meanwhile the #McNuggets did not convince the league that they were not a fluke last year. After all the post-draft hype, they barely cracked 100 points with CJ Anderson accounting for 25% of that production. Ayman’s team will definitely have weeks where they put up convincing numbers, but there must be concern around future outputs from Tyler Lockett and Gary Barnidge. With this win, Ayman is now 3-0 all-time against his bara bhai.
Lexington Mughals (109.9) defeated Pepperell Patriots (99.3)
The Beg Bowl came and went, bookended by a trade each with the Old Tappan J-E-T-S. But let’s end all that Beg-Zia talk once and for all. These two teams both look pretty good and will be in the hunt for the division title. Though I still maintain that the Mughals could be better, they will only get stronger as the season progresses (and once Derrick Henry takes over the Titans backfield). Meanwhile, Haroon was obviously hurt by the absence of Gronk and should expect better performances from J Stew and his other skill players moving forward.