Hello my friends! I’m Ayman, and I’d like to present to you the five worst picks of the BMuz 2016 Fantasy Football Draft in descending order. Note that this is just my opinion, but I promise, these picks are god-awful. For the purposes of keeping this article focused, we will only be focusing on drafted players, so no, I will not be bringing up the tragedy that was Dion Lewis being kept. Without further ado, enjoy laughing at our peers!
5. DeSean Jackson (#12 overall pick by Lexington Mughals)
Taken over: Jeremy Maclin, Golden Tate, Donte Moncrief
For what it’s worth, talent has never been the issue with DeSean Jackson and this isn’t as bad as the rest of the picks up here. This was just a matter of picking the best player available, and DeSean Jackson was likely to be available in the next round. Subzair could have taken one of the higher valued wide receivers and taken DeSean Jackson in the next round with almost 100% confidence. However, if Kirk Cousins continues his ascent and the presence of another strong weapon in Jordan Reed gives DJax some room to breathe, this could actually work out. I wouldn’t bet on it though.
4. Danny Woodhead (#11 overall pick by Rockland Chapli Kababs)
Taken over: Melvin Gordon, Russell Wilson, Jeremy Langford
All you need to know here is that a passing-down RB was taken while the same team’s workhorse was still on the draft board. I have nothing witty to say.
3. Zach Miller (#69 overall pick (teehee) by Boston OakTrees)
Taken over: Gary Barnidge, Julius Thomas, Antonio Gates
A classic case of someone taking a deeper round sleeper for proven producers. BMuz veteran Ahsan Ali would be quick to tell you the health risks of being invested in a Jay Cutler offense, which are almost as dire as the health risks of one of Jay Cutler’s kids being exposed to any vaccine preventable disease.
2. DeAngelo Williams (#15 overall pick by Boston OakTrees)
Taken over: Jeremy Langford, Melvin Gordon, John Brown
Back to back! In Oak’s eagerness to prove that he wouldn’t draft a certain player suspended for the first four games of the season, he decided to flip the earth on its axis and draft a player that would only play for the first three. That’s the only logic I could come up with that could have possibly gone through his mind when making this horrid selection. Instead of drafting someone who projects to start 16 games for an NFL franchise, Oak decided to give himself a starting RB projected to start three games. Furthermore, as soon as Le’Veon’s suspension is up, Oak will be forced to start James White at RB2 for his team, which, for what it’s worth, is extremely fitting. Maybe he can try and become Commissioner to try and get Donald Brown to save his fantasy season.
1. Derrick Henry (#6 overall pick by Lexington Mughals)
Taken over: Jarvis Landry, Julian Edelman, Jeremy Maclin
In my history of participating in various fantasy football leagues over the years, I’ve seen quite a pu pu platter of terrible draft picks. However, none have come close to the egregiousness of this selection. To put this into context, even if there was a bonus 200 points for drafting a player with two first names, he still could have taken Melvin Gordon, Russell Wilson, Michael Floyd, or even Ameer Abdullah and all of those guys would have been less horrendous than this garbage. In the Mughals’ defense, it’s easy to get excited about the prospects of having the backup RB of a Titans offense where no one can name more than one receiver, but Subhan and Uzair may have bit the bullet a little too early on this guy. Even if they were that high on Derrick Henry, he would have been available probably three rounds later. Just an awful, awful pick. Historically bad.